Just when exactly does the Millennium begin? Some say 1999, some say 2000, and some say 2001. You wait a thousand years for one, and three turn up at once.

Multimedia? As far as I'm concerned, it's reading with the radio on!

Politics now is rather like going into Starbucks for a coffee.

In a more intellectually rigorous age, I wouldn't be talked about as a satirist at all. I would just be a topical comedian.

It is almost impossible to say the name of Thai prime minister Yingluck Shinawat without adding 'give a dog a bone'

When you consider what Tony Blair was saying about liberty, human rights and that sort of thing, it would be terribly revolutionary to sell the speeches he and Jack Straw made in 1994.

I had an Edinburgh, middle-class childhood and a public school education.

Now I'm instantly nervous about the demands of doing a weekly column.

I am just fascinated by this reassurance from a menacing figure. It is rather frightening.

Tony Blair has always said he will be judged by history. Now Alastair Campbell is history we await his judgment.

I used to do my Nelson Mandela voice to blag restaurant tables in Cape Town. It rarely worked. Now what a great city that is.

I sometimes think if I did not write I would be a madwoman. Now I am a sane woman with a lot of mad pages.

All government - indeed every human benefit and enjoyment every virtue and every prudent act - is founded on compromise and barter.

I love green. Green is the color of nature, trees. I'm a tree freak. I spend a lot of my time planting trees, nurturing them, and studying them. It's one of the colors I couldn't live without.

I believe the only reality is how we treat each other. The morality comes from the absence of any grander scheme, not from the presence of any grander scheme.

Success is not only one thing. Its not only having a nice house in Beverly Hills and driving a nice Mercedes.

Scale will get you strategy.

I dislike the word 'victim.' I dislike being told that I 'lost' my husband - as if I had idly abandoned you by the side of the railway track like an unwanted pair of old shoes.

You can actually go to school and college to learn how to play and get technical with the electric bass.

Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they'd lock us up?" All the time.

A table-full of welcome!