It was really weird, when this thing started, to hear lawyers and MTV people calling me and actually saying 'ButtHead.' People tried to avoid it too.

They don't make you pay for the humor. It's up and down, but they're trying to give you as many laughs as possible in 2 minutes. They are the most honest comedians ever.

I went to a Catholic high school and it seemed like every time I drew something for a class project, it either got thrown away by the teacher or something.

I often feel that my life, much like my shows, will end on a cliffhanger.

When you work for other people you'll find ... that they do know what's best for them, and for the company. And you should listen to them and be respectful, but they don't know what's best for you.

Who is Mike Judge? Let me think. The only way I could possibly answer that question would be in a nonverbal fashion. I think I could do an interpretive dance that would answer that question for you.

I've seen a lot of pairs of guys that have been hanging out together way too long-until they're laughing all the time.

They say it figures MTV would do such a vulgar, awful, horrible show and they completely miss that it's satirizing the people who watch MTV.

Why should every single character be an honor student who goes around helping others and never doing anything wrong? Is that like the rule or something?

I like the Stooges. You know what movie I saw that I sort of discovered late was Jerry Lewis in 'The Nutty Professor'. I really liked that.

I think I'm optimistic, yeah, especially in real life, but I think it's funny to be pessimistic.

When the Aggregates arise, decay and die, O bhikkhu, every moment you are born, decay, and die.

Don’t follow any leader

With emotions ranging from fear, grief and anger to happiness and relief, the process of bringing home a child who needs in-home care can be complicated

To expect the world to receive a new truth, or even an old truth, without challenging it, is to look for one of those miracles which do not occur.

When women's true history shall have been written, her part in the upbuilding of this nation will astound the world.

The success of an intervention depends on the interior condition of the intervenor.

Night, having Sleep, the brother of Death.

The correct prayer is never one of supplication but one of gratitude.

If you haven't time to respond to a tug at your pants leg, your schedule is too crowded.

If you have no tragedy, you have no comedy. Crying and laughing are the same emotion. If you laugh too hard, you cry. And vice versa.