They don't make you pay for the humor. It's up and down, but they're trying to give you as many laughs as possible in 2 minutes. They are the most honest comedians ever.

I went to a Catholic high school and it seemed like every time I drew something for a class project, it either got thrown away by the teacher or something.

I often feel that my life, much like my shows, will end on a cliffhanger.

When you work for other people you'll find ... that they do know what's best for them, and for the company. And you should listen to them and be respectful, but they don't know what's best for you.

Who is Mike Judge? Let me think. The only way I could possibly answer that question would be in a nonverbal fashion. I think I could do an interpretive dance that would answer that question for you.

It was really weird, when this thing started, to hear lawyers and MTV people calling me and actually saying 'ButtHead.' People tried to avoid it too.

I've seen a lot of pairs of guys that have been hanging out together way too long-until they're laughing all the time.

They say it figures MTV would do such a vulgar, awful, horrible show and they completely miss that it's satirizing the people who watch MTV.

Why should every single character be an honor student who goes around helping others and never doing anything wrong? Is that like the rule or something?

I like the Stooges. You know what movie I saw that I sort of discovered late was Jerry Lewis in 'The Nutty Professor'. I really liked that.

I think I'm optimistic, yeah, especially in real life, but I think it's funny to be pessimistic.

Work sucks. That's why it isn't called 'fun'.

Back on its golden hinges The gate of Memory swings, And my heart goes into the garden And walks with the olden things.

It has not been unknown that judges persist in error to avoid giving the appearance of weakness and vacillation.

Even among the married, sexual satisfaction must not be sought in a way which disregards man's character as a person and degrades him to the animal level.

If you dare to struggle, you dare to win.

I believe it is my duty to share the gifts I have learned. How dare I have the tools for finding serenity and not share them with the world?

As a child I was very involved with sports and I knew at age 9 that I wanted to be an Olympic champion.

Animals are also the ones that are guarding the graves, and they are the ones who communicate between the dead and the alive.

More and more people think of the critic as an indispensable middle man between writer and reader, and would no more read a book alone, if they could help it, than have a baby alone.

Oh sons of Arabs and the Arab Gulf, rebel against the foreigner...Take revenge for your dignity, holy places, security, interests and exalted values.