It seems a fine line between being a matador and being a rodeo clown

When you don't know what you're doing, it's best to do it quickly.

Most things can be fixed with duct tape and extension cords.

Through Jesus, your past is explained, your present has a purpose, and your future is secure. What more could you really want in life?

You can talk any redneck into a challenge. That’s why so many rednecks die in strange ways.

My parents were hoarders before hoarding was cool

I represent Jesus on this earth and he represents me in heaven.

Most people named Willie are either in prison or on the armwrestling circuit.

You can see the true heart of a man when you're out in the woods with a weapon

If you’re too busy to duck hunt or catch fish, then you’re too busy.

The No. 1 rule in duck hunting is to go where the ducks are.

Surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Laughter is to the soul what sunshine is to a flower.

Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today.

Choreography is writing on your feet.

Emancipate yourself from mental slavery.

The goal isn't more money. The goal is living life on your terms.

Man is not made better by being degraded.

My plays are made up of long monologues, which is similar to prose working with the language

The idea of Dumbledore's corpse frightened Harry much less than the possibility that he might have misunderstood the living Dumbledore's intentions.

Yeah, I'd been around horses most of my life.