It's a lie, but Heaven will forgive you for it.

Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.

The landlady of a boarding-house is a parallelogram - that is, an oblong angular figure, which cannot be described, but which is equal to anything

Now, the essence, the very spirit of Christmas is that we first make believe a thing is so, and lo, it presently turns out to be so.

It may be those who do most, dream most.

I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.

A half truth, like half a brick, is always more forcible as an argument than a whole one. It carries better.

Advertising: the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.

There are two things in ordinary conversation which ordinary people dislike - information and wit

I detest life-insurance agents: they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so.

It takes a good deal of physical courage to ride a horse. This, however, I have. I get it at about forty cents a flask, and take it as required.

What am I?" she asked ..."You are mine, " he answered roughly, his forehead still on hers.

If your writing doesn't keep you up at night, it won't keep anyone else up either

One of the reasons I like working with schools is to try to convince women that they can be scientists and that science can be fun.

By now it is evident that the Soviet Union must gain control of Europe to maintain its empire.

It is, of course, quite true that God will not love you any less, or have less use for you, if you happen to have been born with a very second-rate brain.

When I was growing up, Green Day had just come out.

America has tremendous problems. We're a debtor nation. We're a serious debtor nation. And we have a country that needs new roads, new tunnels, new bridges, new airports, new schools, new hospitals.

With any level of success you get some non-musical things that come along - money, ego - and it's easy to lose your perspective and get off doing what you did to get there.

It is Ireland's sacred duty to send over, every few years, a playwright to save the English theater from inarticulate glumness.

It seems that we're better at finding someone to blame for our problems than we are at finding creative solutions to fix them.