If you want success, figure out the price, then pay it.

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?

Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.

If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake!

The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about the

Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.

You don't have to be a 'person of influence' to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.

Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.

Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt.

You are a leader if your vision, mission, and actions inspire others to emulate you or follow your path.

You come from your mauma, you sleep in the bed with her till you're near twenty years grown, and you still don't know what haunches in the dark corners of her.

Life in common among people who love each other is the ideal of happiness.

Crime is common. Logic is rare. Therefore it is upon the logic rather than upon the crime that you should dwell.

The most creative act you will ever undertake is the act of creating yourself.

We are not here to enjoy the things on earth, but to pass them around. The people who do it are the happiest people you know!

There's nothing in this world so sweet as love. And next to love the sweetest thing is hate.

I have a huge rib cage, which is why I can hold a note out until I'm blue in the face... because I have such a big lung capacity.

Unfortunately, these past few years, you can work hard, try to be as successful as possible, follow the rules, and President Barack Obama will do everything he can to stand in your way.

A man's worst difficulties begin when he is able to do as he likes.