If you hire relatives, you'll have a payroll that won't quit.

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.

Laughter is an instant vacation.

Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.

The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.

Laughter is the best medicine in the world.

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases.

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Words or fists, it didn't matter. The soul was still shattered.

...speak to me as to thy thinkingAs thou dost ruminate, and give thy worst of thoughtsThe worst of words...

Each of us, A CEll Of Awareness... imperfect, and incomplete.Genetic blends, with uncertain ends.

What can I say? I'm obsessed. And as we all know obsessed girls can't be held responsible for our actions.

When a plane lands in the Hudson and there's a Twitter user on the ferry taking a picture of it, Boom. That's it. The water is still splashing. Here's the photo of the thing.

Remember Henry Adam's jest that the succession of presidents from Washington to Grant disproved the theory of evolution?

The new national campfire - radio.

Everyone in life knows what it's like to be picked on and to feel like an outsider.

I am catholic. And I don't like to see catholicism being brought into disrepute by those in charge who don't seem to believe in God at all... they act like they don't think God is watching.