If you can get a laugh out of a name, you're ahead of the game.

A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water.

The absolute truth is the thing that makes people laugh.

Inviting people to laugh with you while you are laughing at yourself is a good thing to do. You may be a fool but you're the fool in charge.

I am an atheist. I have a very different take on who God is. Man invented God because he needed him. God is us.

Give yourself an impossible task and solve it - then you've got a really good story.

A fellow who has a funny bone can learn to hone his skills, but I don't think you can develop a funny bone - you either have it or you don't. And by the way - when you get it, we don't know it.

Lust is easy. Love is hard. Life is most important.

Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow. ~Swedish Proverb Lust is easy. Love is hard. Like is most important.

Id like to acknowledge three people who early on knew Mel Brooks was one of the funniest people in the world: Sid Caesar, me, and Mel Brooks.

Comedians are really writers who don't have pens and pencils about them, but they riff.

236Understand the consequences of counting the moments.

No misfortune is so bad that whining about it won’t make it worse. (Apr 2007 Gen Conf)

I was unhappy and I couldn't figure out what was the matter. And he told me to go take a writing course. And I didn't even know that one could learn to write in writing courses.

Islam is based on naql (texts) and ‘aql (intellect). Some people just have the texts – we call them naql-heads.

We are United States Marines, and for two and a quarter centuries we have defined the standards of courage, esprit, and military prowess.

All monarchs I hate, and the thrones they sit on, From the hector of France to the cully of Britain.

There are, above all, times in which the human reality, always mobile, accelerates, and bursts into vertiginous speeds. Our time is such a one, for it is made of descent and fall.

I really try to keep my personal workspace as tidy as possible. I really believe there's a place for everything and everything in its place, as the cliché goes.

As a kid when I was growing up, as any kid, you think you know every thing and I was no different to that.

For me, I love California. I feel like it's my second home in that I moved out by choice at eighteen. It gave me opportunities that I didn't have anywhere else.