The absolute truth is the thing that makes people laugh.

A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water.

Inviting people to laugh with you while you are laughing at yourself is a good thing to do. You may be a fool but you're the fool in charge.

I am an atheist. I have a very different take on who God is. Man invented God because he needed him. God is us.

Give yourself an impossible task and solve it - then you've got a really good story.

A fellow who has a funny bone can learn to hone his skills, but I don't think you can develop a funny bone - you either have it or you don't. And by the way - when you get it, we don't know it.

Lust is easy. Love is hard. Life is most important.

Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow. ~Swedish Proverb Lust is easy. Love is hard. Like is most important.

Id like to acknowledge three people who early on knew Mel Brooks was one of the funniest people in the world: Sid Caesar, me, and Mel Brooks.

Comedians are really writers who don't have pens and pencils about them, but they riff.

An attitude will give you heft.

An intriguing mind is a powerful aphrodisiac.

Prayer ought to be short and pure, unless it be prolonged by the inspiration of Divine grace.

We may appear to be mean but we're really only frightened.

I try to renew and create something new every time.

The movies are funny, in one way, because you think of everyone being as beautiful as the dawn, but that isn't true.

I didn't go out on one date in high school. I played guitar and sang and wrote my own music and poetry and stuff when I was a teenager.

Being as restless as I am by nature, I couldn't simply just be on set, wait for my turn to rehearse for the week. And I kept reading, but it wasn't enough for me.

Nixon's motto was, if two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

I would sooner read a time-table or a catalogue than nothing at all. They are much more entertaining than half the novels that are written.

Trying to be original is futile. If you have no place to go, stay home and cook.