If we did not bring to the examinations of our instincts a knowledge of their comparative dignity we could never learn it from them.

You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.

Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement.

I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.

It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.

There's no such thing as being too Southern.

The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.

Baptists never make love standing up. They're afraid someone might see them and think they're dancing.

It's better to have died a small child than to be a politician who gets caught in a scandal during a slow news month.

You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, 'What's in it for me?'

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

Having a little boy has taken me to a very deep place. I am starting to realize everything I ever worried about was such a waste of time.

Because what nobody ever understood is that I, too, wanted to be a somebody. But how do you go through life wanting to be a someone and not knowing how?

Lots of leaders want to be popular. I never cared about that. I want to be respected.

It takes twenty years to become an overnight success.

Don't want to hear my favorite rapper doin' a love song. If I want to hear something soft, I'll throw on Luther Vandross.

Just give the Italians a chance for drama and they take it with both hands.

A surprising amount of my jokes sound very implausible but are true.

Basically this is what you want - a high performance machine that idiots can run.

I got into law school to supplement my business background. I'm not planning to practice law.

I was just thinking, if it is really religion with these nudist colonies, they sure must turn atheists in the wintertime.