If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster.

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.

Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.

Sometimes there is nothing you can do, and in those times, you must do something anyway.

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. ~Garrison Keillor

Testing leads to failure, and failure leads to understanding.

There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why.

I'm very distanced from the comics industry. I love the comics medium, but I have no time for the industry.

The only legitimate government in the world, is the Iranian government.

Strategy doesn't change when hard times arrive. Consumers' willingness to try, and to stay loyal, remains, the goal. Winners know this; their brand focus and strategy remains consistent.

Mankind have banned the Divinity from their presence; they have relegated him to a sanctuary; the walls of the temple restrict his view; he does not exist outside of it.

I wrote the first draft of my first novel at Michigan, and then I wrote the first draft of 'Salvage the Bones' at Stanford. So I workshopped the entire thing.

Our listeners asked us: "What is chaos?" We're answering: "We do not comment on economic policy."

People do think I'm Jewish. But we're Irish Catholic. My father had a brogue.

Never give up on something you believe in.