If YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY ABOUT ANYONE..COME SIT BY ME.

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

My specialty is detached malevolence.

I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.

I've always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development.

He sprang from the grass roots of the country clubs of America.

I can be President of the United States, or I can control Alice. I cannot possibly do both.

He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.

Never trust a man who combs his hair straight from his left armpit.

I'm the only topless octogenarian in Washington.

You can't make a souffle rise twice.

A great teacher is the architect of a great future.

A man who does not question his own judgment, society, and who flourishes between deceit and bewilderment, fails his moral responsibility as a rational being.

If surgeons don't get surgeon's block, then why are you allowed to get writer's block?

What I believe in touches many aspects of religious and spiritual thought. Mainly I'm influenced and inspired by the eastern yogi's aspect of mysticism, Which is, I think, the future.

I am outraged that the Gorillaz have infringed the copyright of my song 'Time Warp,' claiming their song 'Stylo' to be an original composition.

Follow the truth of the way. Reflect upon it. Make it your own. Live it. It will always sustain you.

The worst thing about losing this job: I’m no longer covered by NBC. I have to sign up for ObamaCare.

The worst way to improve the world is to condemn it.

There are three different modes: playing piano, just me at the microphone, and me at my effects units. And I can mix those up in different ways.

I have sacrificed for the Republic all that man holds dear - my wife, my children, my liberty, my life.