I can be President of the United States, or I can control Alice. I cannot possibly do both.

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

If YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY ABOUT ANYONE..COME SIT BY ME.

My specialty is detached malevolence.

I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.

I've always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development.

He sprang from the grass roots of the country clubs of America.

He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.

Never trust a man who combs his hair straight from his left armpit.

I'm the only topless octogenarian in Washington.

You can't make a souffle rise twice.

Do you want to know what you think about most of the time? Take a look at the results you're getting. That will tell you exactly what's going on inside.

In imagination, there's no limitation.

Kill yourself in training so you don't die fighting.

Anabolic steroids were not banned until after the 72 Olympics.

One of the ways you go after the debt, one of the ways you create jobs is by investing in people.

On the spending, don't forget bridges and roads. It's like puppies and ice cream - who doesn't like them?

When evil acts in the world it always manages to find instruments who believe that what they do is not evil but honorable.

Beautiful colors exist, though we do not realize it, and are glimpsed behind the veil that modesty has drawn over them.

Holy Week is a good occasion to go to confession and to take up the right path again.

He bore no grudge against those he had wronged.