I went to college to play football, not to study it.

You know you're big when you sit in the bathtub and the water in the toilet rises.

I don't eat vegetables. I only eat food like cheeseburgers, Spam, hot dogs and pizza.

We didn't have steroids. If I wanted to get pumped up, I drank a case of beer.

I have no ax to grind. I was lucky. I played. How many guys play high school, college football never play pro football?

The two saddest moments of my life were when my mother died and when I was told I couldn't play football for the Colts anymore.

He runs like a camel. A really pissed off camel.

I'm a light eater. As soon as it's light, I start to eat.

Well the frog men finally got Rosie.

The only weight I ever lifted weighed 24 ounces. It was a Schlitz. I always replaced my fluids.

I never met a cold cut I didn't like.

You have to believe what you're saying if you're going to convince me. I just can't break that rule, even if I want to.

A few heart-whole, sincere, and energetic men and women can do more in a year than a mob in a century.

You can't break up with a soul mate.

I can't sleep, I can't but when all else fails I just breath...

Nor it is an objection to say that we must understand a prayer if it is to have its true effect. That simply is not the case. Who understands the wisdom of a flower? Yet we can take pleasure in it.

We reserve our deepest respect and admiration for those who volunteer for service and give their lives to help keep our nation secure.

Vanity is a motive of immense potency.

Optimism is the opium of the people.

God's children and their happiness are my reasons for being.

I'm a Gemini, so I have a great time with the other guy.