I was not influenced by Jack Benny, and people have remarked on my timing and Jack's timing, but I don't think you can teach timing. It's something you hear in your head.

Comedians are never really on vacation because you're always at attention... that antenna is always out there.

I think you should be a child for as long as you can. I have been successful for 74 years being able to do that. Don't rush into adulthood, it isn't all that much fun.

I love portraying the totally indifferent person.

I'm most proud of the longevity of my marriage, my kids, and my grandchildren. If you don't have that, you really don't have very much.

I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'.

Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on.

People with a sense of humor tend to be less egocentric and more realistic in their view of the world and more humble in moments of success and less defeated in times of travail.

It's getting harder and harder to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. It still brings me up short to walk by somebody who appears to be talking to themselves.

I was never a Certified Public Accountant. I just had a degree in accounting. It would require passing a test, which I would not have been able to do.

I still feel thirty, except when I try to run.

If knowledge is a glass of water, then wisdom is the unlimited, infinite and not yet invented ocean.

Were my love the sky, it would be boundless.Were my love the sea, it would be ceaseless.Were my love the world, it would be limitless.Were my love the universe, it would be endless.

There is always a moment in our lives when we are destined to fall the way we ever feared of.

There is no greater delight than to be conscious of sincerity on self-examination.

If you want to ask about my drug problem, go ask my big, fat, smart, ten pound daughter, she'll answer any questions you have about it.

The Ultimate expression of Humility comes when we control our senses.

If you wait until you have to change, you may have waited too long.

I am for keeping the thing going while things are stirring. Because if we wait till it is still, it will take a great while to get it going again.

If I were a gambling man I would put all my money on there not being anything other than this universe.

99% of fund managers demonstrate no evidence of skill whatsoever.