I was driving pretty much the way everyone drives in LA, like elephants dancing on each others’ backs at a circus.

Money can't buy happiness—but it can buy beer.

I had never liked bullying of any sort, especially when an individual acquires his courage by becoming part of a faceless mob. I always say if you need fake courage, get it out of a bottle like I do.

... occasionally I see rich-looking women on Rollerblades gripping leashes and being towed bodily by golden retrievers. That's my kind of jogging.

A lot of artists start out as failed poets, then move on to being failed short-story writers before they finally break through to the big time and become failed novelists.

Being a cab river is not unlike being a magician--minus the top hat, the cape, the rabbit, an the gorgeous assistant. But you do have an audience.

Adverbs and cops always come in pairs.

I was in the land of fakes and frauds and phonies-I felt like saying “Howdy cousin,” to everybody who walked by.

It's a funny thing about writing. You get so balled up in a story idea that you lose your perspective and forget that human being might read your words someday.

I've been broke, and I've been in debt, and broke is better.

She looked confused. She looked off-balance. That's a technique I employ to get dates, and it always works.

I dont know half of you half as well as I should like

I love being home at Christmastime.

You utter a vow or forge a signature and you may find yourself bound for life to a monastery, a woman or prison.

I didn't care about truth; I cared about beauty. It took me many years--it took the experience of lived time--to realize that they really are the same thing.

Until you have become really, in actual fact, as brother to everyone, brotherhood will not come to pass.

If you're strong enough on the inside, you can handle anything that comes at you on the outside.

I've burned my own house down, the torch is in my hand.Now I'll burn down the house of anyone who wants to follow me.

Americans have been selling this view around the world: that progress comes from perfect protection of intellectual property.

Science is the business of generating testable hypotheses.

Smells are so powerful and evocative, sometimes stronger than visual cues.