I was born. It was easy. My mother did all the hard work.

You think I'm deranged! How refreshing. Everyone here takes me so seriously, it's a wonderful change to be thought mentally deficient.

Just because I'm flaunting it doesn't mean you can stare for hours on end. A polite ogle is appreciated and suitable for a flaunt. Slobbering is not.

...my soul bleeding tears of anguish

Maybe I could just James Bond my way down the cable if I draped the scarf over it, clinging to the ends as my body careened down it to safety-- Careened. What an ugly word that was

Dammit, Jim. I'm a Guardian, not a doctor.

Yes, he is a man, so genetically he's engineered to be dense about many things, but he's not stupid.

My heart sobbed a lament that was hard to ignore.

Yeah. I know. How stupid is it to French kiss a vampire and not expect sharp teeth?

Do you want me to ride you like a rented mule, or do you prefer to be Mr. Missionary Position? I'm fine with wither, so it doesn't matter to me.

You took a bath without me?" I smiled to myself at the accusation in his voice.

Reading a great work of literature can truly be likened to having a conversation with a great mind.

Fuel your life with passion.

Originality is the best form of rebellion.

No, I say, it's fine.Put a gun to my head and paint the wall with my brains. Just great, I say. Really.

You can, of course, write to inspire others… but most importantly, you must write to inspire yourself.

Friends always ask me what the best Indian restaurant in L.A. is. I'm like, 'I don't know, dude. I have an app on my iPhone for that.'

Dancing is like dreaming with your feet!

Memories and loneliness look backward, fear looks around, but faith always looks forward.

[I]t may be that a crowd at a particular moment of history creates the object to justify its gathering.