I told you I was sick.

You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

Said Hamlet to Ophelia, I'll draw a sketch of thee. What kind of pencil shall I use? 2B or not 2B?

We haven't got a plan so nothing can go wrong!

Always try to be Natural in all Perspectives of life because there is no alternative of Natural Blessings.

There was something scary about watching adults sleep. It was as if no one at all were in charge of the world.

men do not suspect faults which they do not commit

Don’t just hit a home run. Knock it out of the park.

I think Americans want to believe in this country again.

Let us pray that peace be now restored to the world, and that God will preserve it always.

When the doors of opportunity swing open, we must make sure that we are not too drunk or too indifferent to walk through.

He wrapped himself in quotations - as a beggar would enfold himself in the purple of Emperors.

I forget that he is another person; instead it feels like he is another part of me, just as essential as a heart or an eye or an arm.

Sometimes a movie knows you're watching it. It knows how to hold and keep you, how, when it's over, to make you want it all over again.