I regret that I do not have the dignity of Ricardo Montalban, the class of Dean Martin, or the humor of Bill Cosby. I do have the heart of a lion.

Marriage is about the most expensive way for the average man to get laundry done.

When an actor marries an actress they both fight for the mirror.

Money doesn't buy happiness. It buys great hookers - but not happiness.

All you really have in the end are your stories.

The best way not to fail again is to be absolutely positive that when you do it this time, you're going to do it right.

If you hold on to things long enough, they get back into style. Like me.

My movies were the kind they show in prisons and airplanes, because nobody can leave.

I can tell a young person where the mines are, but he's probably going to step on them anyway.

You're not a man until your father says you're a man.

If you hang onto something long enough, it will come back in style.. Like ME.

The best thing we could have done for Afghanistan was to get out of our Humvees and drink more green chai. We should have focused less on finding the enemy, and more on finding our friends.

- But Abraham, you mean I'm supposed to make stuff up !?!?- You are creators, you make stuff up all the time!

Time is a flowing river. Happy those who allow themselves to be carried unresisting with the current. They float through easy days. They live unquestioning in the moment.

All have the gift of speech, but few are possessed of wisdom.

I got into a Broadway show before I ever sang and danced. I learned how after I got in the show.

. . . we have overcome the notion that mathematical truths have an existence independent and apart from our own minds. It is even strange to us that such a notion could ever have existed.

Since my induction into the Sports Hall of Fame, I have wanted to have my No. 3 Chevy on exhibit for sports fans to see. I hope others will enjoy the car as much as I have.

This is my friend that we use a lot. Say hello to the trampoline.

If a man prays to Thee with a yearning heart, he can reach Thee, through Thy grace, by any path.

I have quite a broad taste in music.