I quit because I'm so tired of hearing bad news about cigarettes... Even if they discover good news, they don't publicize it - like the fact that smoking seriously reduces the risk of jogging.

I was high on life but eventually I built up a tolerance.

I'm not even worried about settling down. I think it's way too early. I'm 25 and I'm in show business. I mean, if things go well, my wife hasn't even been born yet.

I believe that if you go on a date and get to second base and then you go home alone and rub one out, that's like runs batted in.

I just got a new iPod. It's got 80 gigabytes. Because I like to jog for three weeks at a time and I do not want to hear the same song twice.

I deserve someone who likes me for who I am pretending to be.

I'm in love with a philosophy major, and she doesn't even know I exist. And what's worse, she can prove it.

A woman is a highly developed, deeply intelligent, infinitely complicated being. And it needs to be carefully tricked into doing things.

I'm trying to feel terrified and alone. And regret every decision I've ever made, drenched in a cold sweat. It's called going to sleep. Maybe you've heard of it.

I hate all generalisations.

I never smoke grass and drive my car because, for one thing, no matter how many letters I write to the road commissions, they still refuse to start designing highways with second-chance exits.

It is startling to see how the oppressed almost invariably shape themselves in the image of their hated oppressors.

If you're not just a little bit nervous before a match, you probably don't have the expectations of yourself that you should have.

It's been wonderful for me, and I feel so privileged to have fans that are that loyal.

. . .nothing could eclipse the stain of his dirty, mortal mediocrity.

I've been drunk maybe five times in my life. I don't like to lose control very much.

Jobs are a key essential in the Budget.They are government's number one priority and the Budget is going to reflect that.

Gratitude: An imaginary emotion that rewards an imaginary behavior, altruism. Both imaginaries are false faces for selfishness, which is a real and honest emotion.

People in the media, it makes their day when someone they say is a five-star artist goes platinum.

Well, we can't all be Terry Bradshaw.

I am better off doing as abnegation taught me: turning away from myself, projecting always outward, and hoping that in whatever is next, I will be better than I am now.