I only have one note, let's be honest. But I'll play a different version of that one note.

There's always something funny about men chasing women.

You can either look at things in a brutal, truthful way that's depressing, or you can screw around and have fun.

Whenever you get on the plane, the flight attendant will always tell you the name of your pilot. Like anyone goes, Oh, he's good.

You know the drill. 18 is legal. 17 with consent. 16 with a note. 15 if her dad's in the room. Low five!

I'm a gentleman and I was always taught it's rude, to talk about a woman's age or weight unless you are breaking up with her.

I just don't like to go out and deal with the real world. It's scary.

Staying in a hotel this time. They put me up in a little bit of a shithole. Yeah. Just this side of rinky dink. The first 7 floors are a homeless shelter, but I'm on 8.

Gossip is a plague that consumes weak, gullible people and blinds them from the truth of reality; it can devour entire city's. I prefer keeping my eyes wide open.

I want to get back to my fighting weight of 98 pounds. I have the exact measurements of that guy from the movie, Powder. Right now, I am the reigning West Coast Powder.

My fellow nerds and I will retire to the nerdery with our calculators.

We don’t see things. We see reflections of our feelings and perceptions.

In their effort to divorce language and experience, deconstructionist critics remind me of middle-class parents who do not allow their children to play in the street.

The problem Christians have isn’t our belief in what God could do, but on what God should do.

Stay in the present. And that's not a glib answer. The way to stay in the present is to have a love for what you're doing and a vitality and a sense of well-being that is generated by your art.

He has been greatly missed since his retirement ... Thank God for videotapes and DVDs. In this regard, he will always be around.

Wherever a person goes, his deeds, like a shadow, will follow.

When you feel good about yourself, others will feel good about you, too.

Blind people come to the park just to hear him pitch.

Everyone in this world acknowledges as truth only what is convenient for them. They have no other way of living.