I never, ever in my life tried to be outrageous. I've only ever tried to say what was truly on my mind and not pull punches about it.

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

False hope really makes you cynical.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.

One by one she slew her fears, and then planted a flower garden over their graves.

Perfectionism is a mean, frozen form of idealism, while messes are the artist's true friend.

I have over 5000 costumes, and the furniture and memorabilia that goes with them.

I think that, in comparison, New Yorkers and Northerners are so guarded.

A theological time bomb, set to go off with dramatic consequences.

I don't hate other women. Let me rephrase that: I hate other women and men - people in general can be annoying - but I've never disliked a woman for being beautiful.

We hunger for nobility: the rare words and acts that harmonize simplicity and truth.

I've had meetings where a guy actually told me, "What we're trying to figure out is how we can control you." In the meeting, to me! Why do you want to control me?

Life is chaotic. It's messy. That's what Jesus was stepping into.

When female minds are embittered by age or solitude, their malignity is generally exerted in a rigorous and spiteful superintendence of domestic trifles.