I'm one of those guys like whatever the situation is, as long as people are cool and everybody is trying to be funny, I have a good time.

To me this is not yelling. I am not yelling. I'm just passionate about my opinions and I want to tell you all of them before you start talking again.

Haven't you noticed that every time the government f-ks up McDonald's has a new sandwich?

Only an adult with dying dreams can appreciate how awesome it is to have a dog.

God's everywhere, but I gotta go down (to church) to see him? Really? And he's mad at me down there, and I owe you money?

Let's go to Brunch. What a great idea! Why would you want to sleep in on a Sunday when you can go pay $18 for eggs? Now, you're thinking.

Surround yourself with positive people. Also, be a positive person. Root for people. Somebody else's success is not your failure.

My favorite kind of humor is basically, if it was happening to you, it wouldn't be funny, but to observe it, it's hilarious.

Nothing worse than when a 6 acts like a 10.

I've never wanted to kill myself over anything major. It's always the little things that do me in.

Your twenties is all about taking your childhood out on everyone that you run into.

My mother used to tell me that when push comes to shove, you always know who to turn to. That being a family isn't a social construct but an instinct.

If you die fighting, I want to die fighting with you.

Beggars can't be choosers. We don't have all the money in the world. So anyone who wants to be in the band and be broke - that's their own death wish.

One of the strengths I derive from my class background is that I am accustomed to contempt.

Sometimes we don't see certain things until we're ready to see them in a certain way.

Anyone who thinks they're happy should really see a doctor, because there is no reason to be happy.

Hollywood is wonderful. Anyone who doesn't like it is either crazy or sober.

We have not touched the stars, nor are we forgiven, which brings us back to the hero’s shoulders and the gentleness that comes, not from the absence of violence, but despite the abundance of it.

We're all flawed human beings and we all have a cauldron of psychosis which we have to unravel as we grow older and find the way we fit in to live our lives as best as possible.

40 percent of North Korean children suffer from stunted growth. 20 percent are underweight.