I'm here today to update the American people on the incredible progress that has been made in the last four weeks since my inauguration. We have made incredible progress.

Nothing is easy, but who wants nothing?

There's nobody bigger or better at the military than I am.

I am the only one who can make America truly great again!

Sometimes by losing a battle you find a new way to win the war.

Don’t be afraid of being unique. It’s like being afraid of your best self.

I could stand in the middle Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn't lose any voters.

If you're going to be thinking anyway, think big!

Always try to learn from other people's mistakes, not your own- it is much cheaper that way!

Do you mind if I sit back a little? Because your breath is very bad.

This very expensive GLOBAL WARMING bullshit has got to stop. Our planet is freezing, record low temps,and our GW scientists are stuck in ice.

A wise man, once he is past fifty, does not befuddle his senses with strong drink, nor make violent love in the cool spring night, nor dance on his hands.

Coincidences mean you're on the right path.

The spirit of resiliency defeats all trials and tribulations.

We can bear the sun not to set, but we cannot bear the sun not to rise!

Being in charge sometimes means making people mad. Some days you have to overrule even the best advice, because you think it is not right.

As for football in L.A., it's going to take a loooong time before another team comes here.

If a story isn't working, I'm simply unable to finish it. That's what usually tells me something is wrong.

My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, so... yeah.'

In case we have to shoot Democrats. It happened during the Civil War, and it could happen again.

I can't drink. I have too much to lose. I can't lose my job over something I can stop.