I'm extremely moved by the loving, caring relationship the President always seems to have with his imaginary son.

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse.

We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

Maybe democrats will eventually turn on Obamacare when they realize you might need a photo I.D. to participate in the program.

Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble.

There is a chalk outline slowly being drawn around common sense and most people can't identify the victim.

It's foolish to be prejudiced. There are so many reasons to hate people on an individual basis.

Embrace the love of your life.

All the trials we endure cannot be compared to these interior battles.

Shame control us and our lives, it makes the choices we just state in spec and watch what's doing... as far as now it goes like a bot... auto!

Don't try to make yourself marketable, you'll be surprised to see yourself at the bottom. Stay incognito, and people will peruse the whole world looking for you, by that time, you'll be at the top.

It's a war zone, my body, and one which has been through a great deal.

Give to another human being without the expectation of a return.

Class is the most difficult subject for American writers to deal with as it is the most difficult for the English to avoid.

I don't know much about football but everyone seems to say that it is all about possession.

Every person you meet is waging his or her own war against a callous universe that is plotting against them.

Honesty first; then courage; then brains - and all are indispensable.