I love writing - it's the best. But I really hate collaboration.

They say that if you're afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you're actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I'm afraid of dogs.

I don't know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it's fun to watch either one of them get beat up.

Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it's the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.

Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there's always beer.

When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that's a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.

I'm thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.

You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don't care for him.

You ever see 'The Dating Game'? That's a weird game show. The prize on that show: another contestant. Talk about cheap.

The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.

I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.

The obsession with suicide is characteristic of the man who can neither live nor die, and whose attention never swerves from this double impossibility.

Obviously it's critical that the three cars are able to contribute to the program. I think that certainly has given much of the reason as to why we did so well at Indy over the last several years.

You can send a message around the world in one-fifth of a second, yet it may take years for it to get from the outside of a man's head to the inside.

I was at number one in Australia with both my album and my single. And then I was told I had cancer. I thought, 'What a strange turn of events.'

I think it is important to know when to be hard on yourself and when to let things go, but always keep going.

You know, I want to teach, but I don’t want to read?

I know from growing up in the spotlight, as it were, that the most important thing is your family.

If you've done a brilliant version it becomes something else.

If I had to last 20 years, I would probably be batting in a wheelchair.

I am a thorn in the side of designers.