I live in constant fear of being fired or dropped for that dark part of my work I can't control.

If it is your time, love will track you down like a cruise missile.

The strips are nearly effortless unless I am really emotionally upset, a wreck.

Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.

We don't create a fantasy world to escape reality. We create it to be able to stay.

I started doing cartoons when I was about 21. I never thought I would be a cartoonist. It happened behind my back. I was always a painter and drawer.

If I didn't try to eavesdrop on every bus ride I take or look for the humor when I go for a walk, I would just be depressed all the time.

No matter what, expect the unexpected. And whenever possible BE the unexpected.

I was unable to sleep and I would stay up and draw these little cartoons. Then a friend showed them around. Before I knew it I was a cartoonist.

Sometimes, I think the only art left for us is slowly peeling the label off a beer bottle while somebody tells you about a dream they had.

What year is it in your imagination?

Your Presentation is Your Capability.

Maturity turns out to be a question you can never answer with confidence, despite advanced age and wage.

Wait. You work for me?""I prefer to think of it as managing your incompetence.

With respect to the acceptance of dissociative disorders, as with most issues in life, it is counterproductive to spend time trying to convince people of things they don't want to know.

The hardest thing to cope with is not selfishness or vanity or deceitfulness, but sheer stupidity.

If there is one thing fundamental to the life of the spirit it is the absence of force.

Airports should all belong to the same country. The country of Crappacia. Or Bleakovania. Or Suckitan.

I literally cannot remember one joke.

So many businesses get worried about looking like they might make a mistake, they become afraid to take any risk.

Margot [Hentoff] dislikes Bill Clinton because he's totally untrustworthy, and you really ought to have some faith in whoever's going to be your president.