I know an awful lot of Hollywood people, who are so self-important, I can't understand it.

The first chapter sells the book; the last chapter sells the next book.

The most important part of a story is the ending. No one reads a book to get to the middle.

I'm actually a softie. Tough guys get killed too early... I've got a full head of hair and don't wear eyeglasses.

Inspiration is an empty bank account.

Mike Hammer drinks beer because I can't spell Cognac.

Nobody reads a book to get to the middle.

If the public likes you, you're good. Shakespeare was a common, down-to-earth writer in his day.

Those big-shot writers ... could never dig the fact that there are more salted peanuts consumed than caviar.

I have no fans. You know what I got? Customers. And customers are your friends.

If I need something, I'll invent it.

Still, pain hurts. And most of us find it difficult, to say the least, to find gratitude in our hearts for the worst things in life.

We're children of LOVE!

I'm so glad I didn't die on the various occasions I have earnestly wished I might, for I would have missed a lot of lovely weather.

No matter how strong a condom is, it won't protect you from a broken heart.

If there is one 'scientific' discovery I am proud of, it is the discovery of the habit of writing without publication in mind.

Obama had a mandate for change and Trump clearly does not.

What's so ironic is that CNN's doing reports on fake news, and they have someone who writes one false news story after the next.

In my heart are the deeds my body has done and my heart has been weighed in the balance.

It's hard to do," I said. Wes looked at me. "What is?" I swallowed, not sure why I'd said this out loud. "Get it right.

I guess ultimately a lot of comedians just wanna be taken seriously.