I just watched this documentary on the mating habits of whiptail lizards and trust me, if those things can make it happen, you can too, my friend.

Basically, dating is like climbing a volcano and you never know when it’s going to erupt, dumping molten lava and burning you

Life has no guarantees, but my life has no meaning if you're not in it.

This is me, asking a risk-taker like you to trust me. To let me love you until I take my last breath. These were my last solo flights. From now on I want to wing everything with you and only you.

Don't tell me about your effort. Show me your results.

God exists, if only in the form of a meme with high survival value, or infective power, in the environment provided by human culture.

The expression a woman wears on her face is far more important than the clothes she wears on her back.

A comic says funny things. A comedian says things funny.

You already have everything you need to be content. Your real work is to do whatever it takes to realize that.

My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me.

Close your outer eyes and open your inner eyes.

There are no great enologists. Only good grapes

He [the householder] is the appointer of his owne circumstance, and his house is his castle.

Who you are becoming is more important than what you are accumulating.