I have worked with a great many comedians as opposed to comics, although I have worked with comics as well, I make the distinction.

My family comes first. Maybe that's what makes me different from other guys.

You're either sexy or you're not. I'm very self-conscious about my physiognomy.

Memories are like moonbeams; we do with them what we want.

I'm more married to Sandy now than when we were married with the legal document. We're still married as parents.

It isn't true that you live only once. You only die once. You live lots of times if you know how.

Any fool knows that bravado is always a cover-up for insecurity. That's the truth. And on that note, I'll say goodnight. God love you.

A comedian's body is funny as well as his mind being funny, his whole personage is funny.

There is nothing wrong with being afraid - but there is nothing more wrong than allowing that to be your master.

I've got a dream lover, so I don't have to dream alone.

I'm a singer who moves like a dancer.

Lift your spirits by practicing random acts of kindness.

If it's to protect our family, be it the Kingdom or the entire world... We would make anyone our enemy! That's what it means to be Fairy Tail!!

I'm bothered by the fact that stupid people don't spontaneously combust, which they should.

In the hands of vicious men, a mob will do anything. But under good leaders it's quite a different story.

The First Amendment is not a blanket freedom-of-information act. The constitutional newsgathering freedom means the media can go where the public can, but enjoys no superior right of access.

Truths turn into dogmas the instant that they are disputed. Thus every man who utters a doubt defines a religion.

Literally, I see my writing as transcription - a transcription of what I see, hear, think, live.

Our truth is the intersection of independent lies

The door to the soul is unlocked; you do not need to please the doorkeeper, the door in front of you is yours, intended for you, and the doorkeeper obeys when spoken to.