I have no mouth. And I must scream.

You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.

The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity.

Thank your readers and the critics who praise you, and then ignore them. Write for the most intelligent, wittiest, wisest audience in the universe: Write to please yourself.

I don't mind you thinking I'm stupid, but don't talk to me like I'm stupid.

K is for "Kenghis Khan"; He was a very nice person. History has no record of him. There is a moral in that, somewhere.

In these days of widespread illiteracy, functional illiteracy... anything that keeps people stupid is a felony.

The world is turning into a cesspool of imbeciles.

You must never be afraid to go there.

They minute people fall in love they become liars.

Posing the question: does the god of love use underarm deodorant, vaginal spray and fluoride toothpaste?

Flattery is all right so long as you don't inhale.

The pretender sees no one but himself, Because he has the veil of conceit in front; If he were endowed with a God discerning eye, He would see that no one is weaker than himself.

Fashion, which elevates the bad to the level of the good, subsequently turns its back on bad and good alike.

There can no great smoke arise, but there must be some fire.

What you believe about who you are, where you came from, affects your whole worldview.

One can't get over the habit of being a little girl all at once.

Why dost thou complain of this world? It detains thee not; thy own cowardice is the cause, if thou livest in pain.

Church attendance may be dipping, but God can survive the Internet age. After all, He knows a thing or two about resurrection.