I hate people who think it's clever to take drugs... like custom officers.

I really like rustic mediterranean cooking. And I like trying out curry takeaways.

One of my friends went on a murder weekend, now he is doing life for it.

The rain forest has Sting. Now Siberia has Jack Dee. Someone had to draw the short straw. In this case it was the rain forest.

People who are pro smacking children say, 'It's the only language they understand.' You could apply that to tourists.

I really hated fighting people and hurting them, but felt unable to stop.

They call it 'surfing' the net. It's not surfing. It's typing in your bedroom

Comedy and tragedy are two sides of the same coin. A talent in one area might also lead to a predisposition in the other.

Whenever you're in any acting role you are mortgaging your own character.

The jokes are great but what really matters for a comedian is his performance, his whole attitude, and the laughs that he gets between the jokes rather than on top of the jokes.

I spent the first 25 years of my life not knowing what I wanted to do.

Why can't a tree be called Pluplusch?

If you wanted to be the best then you had to swallow your pride and become a student of the game first.

Imagine what could happen if we all had the heart to be who we truly are.

It's amazing how people can be so blind to what's good for them and what isn't, what's truth and what's not, or the difference between secrets and things just not yet known.

Marriage is good enough for the lower classes: they have facilities for desertion that are denied to us.

Rather than lose the public because television is here, wouldn't it be smart to adopt television as our instrument?

I don't believe in God, but I'm afraid of Him.

Most extraordinary success includes first having to overcome extraordinary adversity. See your challenges as opportunities to become better.

The unknown is always interesting.

Quotologists encounter happy surprises, bright books by faded authors, treasures hidden under dust.