I guess this proves there are as many nuts in the Academy as anywhere else.

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend.

People who speak in metaphors should shampoo my crotch.

My whole career strategy has been to build a base so that I could take the roles I want to play. I'd hate to think that a shorter part might not be available because I was worried about my billing.

I'm Irish. I think about death all the time.

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world.

With my sunglasses on, I'm Jack Nicholson. Without them, I'm fat and 60.

The minute that you're not learning I believe you're dead.

Human beings are always going to find interesting ways of making a mess of their lives. It's human nature.

I don't think many people have a very good understanding of leisure and the importance it plays in our lives.

Men dominate because of physicality, and thus they have mercy where women do not.

The only thing that stands between a person and what they want in life is the will to try it and the faith to believe it is possible.

An optimist is a person who sees a green light everywhere, while a pessimist sees only the red stoplight... the truly wise person is colorblind.

It is important not to show too many inches at once.

Handle even a single leaf of green in such a way that it manifests the body of the Buddha. This in turn allows the Buddha to manifest through the leaf.

I dreamt the impossible dream and I’m living it right this moment.

Every day is a different day in New York; there's always something new going on.

There is no flock, however watched and tended, but one dead lamb is there! There is no fireside howsoe'er defended, but has one vacant chair.

I was fortunate enough to be an American citizen by birth and I have the birth certificate to prove it.

As peace is the end of war, so to be idle is the ultimate purpose of the busy.

I can't handle the paparazzi. They're everywhere. One of them was in a dumpster trying to take my photo the other day. It was crazy!