I get airsick just licking an airmail stamp.

My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.

I'm playing all the right notes, just not necessarily in the right order

I always take my wife morning tea in my pyjamas. But is she grateful? No, she says she'd rather have it in a cup.

We had not had time to establish ourselves as a double act before Ernie joined the Merchant Navy. I teamed up with the brother of the late Dave Morris.

You will always receive what you are equal to.

Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience.

Where would dictators be without our compliant amnesia? Make the collective lose its memory, you can conceal anything.

[Donald Trump] he has pulled off something that no one believed he could do.

Inflation is a form of hidden taxation which it is almost impossible to measure.

No one wants to see a person on TV who's super-ultra-cool. That's Superman, that's a thing of the past. Heroes are now flawed, and have terrible tempers, you know? They're real people.

A strong economy depends on a strong middle class, but George Bush has put the middle class in a hole, and John McCain has a plan to keep digging that hole with George Bush's shovel.

As a kid, I really loved 'Jane Eyre,' I used to fantasise that the past was so much better and my lifetime was crap.

Writing wasn't about making money. I wanted to find fulfillment in writing and telling stories, and that's what's driven me.

The old wanderlust had gotten into his blood, the joy of the unbound life, the joy of seeking, of hoping without limit.