I found that being with happy positive people annoys me.

Parrots have gone a bit quiet since pirates have gone.

It's like the panda, they say that's dying out. But what do they do? When you see them they're just sitting in the jungle eating.

It would be spiteful to put a Jellyfish in a trifle.

Pigeons: They've got wings, but they walk a lot.

I've got loads of nieces and nephews.

[Jellyfish] are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful.

Avocados, it's a food that ain't worth injuring yourself for. If it's a hassle to get into, leave it to the experts.

We've had the Iron Age, the Stone Age, this is the pissin' about age.

People who live in a glass house have to answer the door.

You know, when you're a producer, you're a bit of a lackey. You're just making cups of tea and making sure they've got newspaper, stuff like that.

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill because they pissed me off!

No human being really has any misery. It is your own mistake if you complain of the misery.

Humor does not rescue us from unhappiness, but enables us to move back from it a little.

Temporary release from work, through vacations, becomes more welcome, more pleasurable, even more necessary, as we grow older.

Joe Calzaghe is next. If he gets himself out that armchair, gets himself back in the gym, let's have a fight for the British fans and the rest of the world.

If you have a sweet tooth, you'll have a sweet mouth when you're done, because all your teeth are going to be sweet.

Great art is precisely that which never was, nor will be taught, it is preeminently and finally the expression of the spirits of great men.

I've been on some fairways that are as good as the greens we putted on back then. We had crab grass. I remember one green where I putted through ants.

Ignorance is the biggest problem of all for the ocean - and for many other things as well.

The world is an old woman, and mistakes any gilt farthing for a gold coin; whereby being often cheated, she will thenceforth trust nothing but the common copper.