I fear one day I'll meet God, he'll sneeze and I won't know what to say.

I was going to buy a copy of "The Power of Positive Thinking", and then I thought: What good would that do?

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August.

After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, 'No hablo ingles.'

I always wanted to be the last guy on Earth, just to see if all those women were lying to me.

A lot of people wonder how you can tell if you're really in love. Just ask yourself this question: 'Would I mind being financially destroyed by this person?'

I spend money with reckless abandon. Last month I blew $5000 at a reincarnation. I got to thinking, what the hell, you only live once!

I was an ugly baby. On my birth certificate there was a listing for Probable Cause.

Where there's a will there's a dead person.

Relationships give us a reason to live. Revenge.

I like life. It's something to do.

I have known no man of genius who had not to pay in some affliction or defect either physical or spiritual for what the gods had given him.

A world of confusion and disappointment results from trying to believe without obeying.

When it comes to casual clothing, my enthusiasm for clothes starts to waver.

I think we're going to have some difficulty in front of us. I have absolutely no doubt the next three, four years Europe are going to be at best stagnation. We are preparing for tough times.

The first thing any coaching staff must do is weed out selfishness. No program can be successful with players who put themselves ahead of the team.

If you know how to use a pencil to draw, you could draw anything. Now apply that to everything in life.

When lifes seems hopeless, rearrange things for a dose of dopeness.

It is those who are successful, in other words, who are most likely to be given the kinds of special opportunities that lead to further success.

If theres something really, really bothering me about a script, then Ill say something, but otherwise I find my answers in the script.

I feel like I could be likened to an old hound circling on a rug for the last five years.