I don't really like surprises. Not big ones anyway. Just having a pack of Revels holds enough of a surprise for me.

I thought the fart was a human thing. It's something to do with like, arse cheeks, or whatever.

It's interesting to see that people had so much clutter even thousands of years ago. The only way to get rid of it all was to bury it, and then some archaeologist went and dug it all up.

I know who I am. Bloody hell, I'm getting enough bills for Karl Pilkington so I hope I am him, 'cos if I'm not, I have no idea who I'm paying for.

As long as you try to think intelligently, you have missed the point.

You'll understand me when you're older. Then you'll see how men can blind you. And I mean blind you. To the point that you're no longer yourself.

There's nothing like living a long time to create a depth and soulfulness in your music.

You have to be able to risk your identity for a bigger future than the present you are living.

Never say never Never is a long, undependable time, and life is too full of rich possibilities to have restrictions placed upon it.

Specialists can never practice their specialties too much. The danger is in not practicing enough. Make that mistake, and soon you may not be in the specialty business anymore.

When a private entity does not produce the desired results, it is (certain body parts excepted) done away with. But a public entity gets bigger.

I admire answers to which no answers can be made.

The goal of life is not the earning of money, but the service of God.p.114

Presume not that I am the thing I was.