I don't necessarily know much about comedy, I don't spend a lot of time watching it. Mainly because all my life for about 50 years I've had comedy.

I believe in the separation of church and planet.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will make me go in a corner and cry by myself for hours.

A lot has been said about politics; some of it complimentary, but most of it accurate

Learn to trust yourself. That's very vital. ... Just stand with yourself. Remember, in his lifetime, Van Gogh sold only two paintings. I personally sold even fewer.

Life doesn't make any sense, and we all pretend it does. Comedy's job is to point out that it doesn't make sense, and that it doesn't make much difference anyway.

Life is a comedy when watching and a tragedy when experiencing. I try and share anything I have.

Life took over 4 billion years to evolve into you, and you've about 70 more years to enjoy it. Don't just pursue happiness, catch it.

Never do things for money. It's always the things you do for love that turn out to pay the best.

Life has a very simple plot: first you're here and then you're not.

I've got soggy thighs. It must be dinner time.

We wonder why we don't have faith; the answer is, faith is confidence in the character of God and if we don't know what kind of God God is, we can't have faith.

Only a few find the way, some don't recognize it when they do, somedon't ever want to.

One of the finest magicians you can see is David Oliver.

It felt like a dream.

In the beginning was the secret brain. The brain was celled and soldered in the thought

I'm cool with being the sad guy, but I don't want to be the guy who nobody wants around because he's so miserable.

The healing of the land and the purification of the human spirit is the same process.

Sometimes you have to crouch to conquer

Sometimes I feel that by not marrying, I made too great a sacrifice to my work.