I don't know that I have a single comedy philosophy. But talking about things that matter to you is a good place to start. Listening is a big part of it, too.

I often think about my future wife and how lax she's been about getting in touch with me.

I'm keeping in shape, you know, gotta look good for the ladies - and certain guys. Hey, I can't control who's looking. I just gotta bring the heat.

You'll get them tomorrow. You gave it a good shot. Keep your chin up.

The more you perform, the more adept you get at the nuances of navigating that communal conversation.

I belong to a gym now... well, let me rephrase that: I don't belong there at all, but I go.

The blues is a hopeful music. It helps you process something rather than avoid it. It's like mourning, in essence.

I think there comes a time in any comedian's career where they can either coast or keep growing and evolving.

Comedy takes all of life and puts it through a lens of acceptance, just by the mere act of talking about it on stage in a communal setting. It's very primal and ritualistic in that sense.

Inherent in mourning is celebration. Mourning without celebration or some form of acceptance leaves you stuck.

Comedians act every night on stage, so they have great performing chops. They especially know how to play themselves, which is how we set 'Teachers Lounge' up.

Life would take everything from you eventually. So who would be so stupid to leave someone they loved by choice?

Digital for storage and quickness. Analog for fatness and warmth.

Anyone who hasn't been nervous, or hasn't choked somewhere down the line, is an idiot.

Accidents will occur in the best regulated families.

Ma, I'm just trying to get going on those grandchildren you want.

First, I was an idealist (that was early - fools are born, not made, you know); next I was a realist; now I am a pessimist, and, by Jove! if things get much worse I'll become a humorist.

I find the remark, "Tis distance lends enchantment to the view" is no less true of the political than of the natural world.

Nature gropes and blunders and performs the crudest acts. There is no steady advance upward. There is no design.

I'm not one of these guys to do my solo stuff one night and Black Sabbath the next. I can't do that, you know. It's too much to handle.

All perceiving is also thinking, all reasoning is also intuition, all observation is also invention.