I'd luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair.

It's better to be hated for who you are, than to be loved for someone you're not. It's a sign of your worth sometimes, if you're hated by the right people.

You should never say bad things about the dead, you should only say good . . . Joan Crawford is dead. Good.

There comes a time in every woman's life when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne.

Getting old is not for sissies.

Some young Hollywood starlets remind me of my grandmother's old farmhouse -- all painted up nice on the front side, a big swing on the backside, and nothing whatsoever in the attic.

You will never be happier than you expect. To change your happiness, change your expectation.

If everyone likes you, you're not doing it right.

A sure way to lose happiness, I found, is to want it at the expense of everything else.

If you've never been hated by your child, you've never been a parent.

My passions were all gathered together like fingers that made a fist. Drive is considered aggression today; I knew it then as purpose.

Like lycanthropy, the nerd gene can skip a generation. My maternal grandfather was a technophile.

I think if you try to tailor your act to anybody, you end up with an act that doesn't work anyway.

Early and provident fear is the mother of safety.

If you meditate you will change in ways that I cannot understand. But that is neither here nor there.

I saw my whole life in front of me, and I had to let go of past things that I was trying to hold on to that were dark in my life.

Who knows, maybe I am simply a talented architect?

Making a record is like painting a school bus with a toothbrush

We must give more in order to get more. It is the generous giving of ourselves that produces the generous harvest.

Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.