I caught on fire twice on the stage, but I was promptly put out. It was just my leg

Don't jack off a cactus, you'll only hurt your hand and the cactus' feelings

It's not how you pick your nose, it's where you put that booger that counts.

The one thing about Billie is he will snap and rip your head off if you point anything out at all other than how beautiful he is and how nice he looks today.

I wish people would turn off their computers, go outside, talk to people, touch people, lick people, enjoy each other's company and smell each other on the rump

Life is like breakfast: you just mix all ingredients 'cause in your stomach it will all come together.

Punk rock has become another viable art form. It always was. But now it's like everyone's doing it.

I've matured, maybe, but not grown up.

I'm not exactly sure how many kids I have, but yes, I do miss them officially, for the record. In case any of them are listening, I love you.

I'm a drummer. I can count to four and repeat.

I never completed high school and I am very rich and very successful.

It was not something you could call friendship

Don't grieve over the past, It's all gone!Don't worry about the future, It may never come! Live in the present, And enjoy every moment

When we turn 21, we begin to regret the sins we did not committed...

... Geniuses have a little extra something. There's that little something that you know is a little different.

If I lose, I lose. Ill do it on my terms.

A liberal is a man who will give away everything he doesn't own.

I like things that involve skill and I love anything that's a bit of a challenge

You can see the latest dumbness as just the end of a long line of dumbnesses that have been taking place for thousands of years.

All biblical exegetes and theologians have a theory of language, whether they acknowledge it or not.

I am grateful to the Germans in general, particularly those who displayed unending dedication to the refugees and who continue to do so.