I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.

Live by this credo: have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations.

I personally believe that each of us was put here for a purpose -- to build not to destroy. If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God.

There are three signs of old age: loss of memory ... I forget the other two.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always

Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.

Old age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

I personally believe we were put here to build and not to destroy.

Today's comics use four-letter words as a shortcut to thinking. They're shooting for that big laugh and it becomes a panic thing, using four-letter words to shock people.

I have enough money to get by. I'm not independently wealthy just independently lazy I suppose.

My dad used to say, 'You wouldn't worry so much about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did.

The revolutionary government was required to become the government of the war.

Anybody over 40 is an older person. You better give them some respect.

If you need counsel, start with the One who is both Counselor and King - the One who is the source of both wisdom and power.

I see, but cannot reach, the height That lies forever in the light.

I don't take myself seriously any more. Sometimes I just garden in my knickers and platform shoes.

The trouble with women? Elbows.

Never throw into double coverage.

I love to know that in all parts of the world, people want me. I need the attention.