I am the number one Ninja and I have killed all the Shoguns in front of me.

The Big Cactus... because if you come too close, you're gonna get stuck.

I knew I was dog meat. Luckily, I'm the high-priced dog meat that everybody wants. I'm the good-quality dog meat. I'm the Alpo of the NBA.

They shot the ball well early. What comes out of the microwave hot doesn't always stay hot. I know, because I eat bagels in the morning.

The stats win nothing. I'm still sexy. I'm still great.

You know, I'm very photogenic.

No one calls me out, I'm from LSU.

I put a lot into it, and when I am done playing, I plan on going undercover and then being the sheriff or chief of police somewhere, either Miami or Orlando, I don't know yet.

I'm not going to try to go out there and outdo him. I don't have to try to outdo him, I'm Shaq.

This summer is going to be a different summer for a lot of people. Everyone is going to take care of their own business and everyone is going to do what's best for them, including me.

I'm going back to the old Shaq. I was normal last year - I was an earthling last summer. I had to go back to my alien roots.

Opposable thumbs are overrated.

There are things in this life that you must face alone. Birth is one of them-death is another.

The intersection of law, politics, and technology is going to force a lot of good thinking.

I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.

A problem is often half-solved when it is clearly stated.

If Martin Luther King were here he'd be very surprised at some of the sugar-coated versions of American history presented today.

To be brave is to love unconditionally without expecting anything in return.

I don't want to consider myself a TV5 favorite, but it's a blessing that I have more shows than the others.

Something, like nothing, happens anywhere.

In peace and silence, the skin of the 'I' dissolves and the inner and the outer become one.