I am billed as a humorist, but of course I am a tragedian at heart.

If a cat does something, we call it instinct; if we do the same thing, for the same reason, we call it intelligence.

Armadillos make affectionate pets, if you need affection that much.

Orangutans teach us that looks are not everything-but warned near it.

The Chameleon's face reminded Aristotle of a Baboon. Aristotle wasn't much of a looker himself.

The Love bird is one hundred percent faithful to his mate-who is locked into the same cage.

The stork is voiceless because there is really nothing to say.

To the seeing eye life is mostly Sparrows.

Some people lose all respect for the lion unless he devours them instantly. There is no pleasing some people.

Aristotle taught that the brain exists merely to cool the blood and is not involved in the process of thinking. This is true only of certain persons.

A hermit is simply a person to whom civilization has failed to adjust itself.

History permits us to be responsible: not for everything, but for something... History gives us the company of those who have done and suffered more than we have.

Nothing makes one so vain as being told that one is a sinner.

I have an attitude. It's what I do. I'm edgy. I have an attitude.

Affaires meant 'business.' How like the French to kill two birds with one stone.

The Second Amendment only protects the people who want all the guns they can have. The rest of us, we've got no Second Amendment. What are we supposed to do?

Keeping a commitment to listening has led me to my own growth, beyond any imagined dreams I may have had throughout the years.

It's hard to pull apart empathy from compassion. What is really clear is that we innately care for other people at least to some extent.

This Jesus, delivered up according to the definite plan and foreknowledge of God, you crucified and killed by the hands of lawless men.

Hell is oneself, hell is alone, the other figures in it merely projections. There is nothing to escape from and nothing to escape to. One is always alone.

Real Fathers are Role Models worthy of emulation. They choose to live exemplary lifestyles of leadership and excellence