I am always the source of the worst rumors about myself.

I drink coffee. Without coffee, I probably couldnt write.

People don't expect too much from literature. They just want to know they're not alone with being confused.

I am part of a vast generation of people who perpetually live as if they just graduated from college.

I need to stay in the present and use that new-age mantra: 'I'm okay right now.' But I worry about all the things I'm failing at every moment.

I've always been intrigued by Stockholm Syndrome. Reminds me of my childhood.

Having a show get canceled is like, 'Oh, you have caviar between your teeth,' you know what I mean? Because you had a show in the first place.

Something has happened where you almost never grow up in America. Maybe it's the greater wealth.

I don't really recognise success. I don't see myself as on an upwardly mobile trajectory. I see myself as on the edge of a cliff about to fall off.

Oh, God, I don't know what's more difficult, life or the English language.

I'm on the verge of a total breakdown. Sciatica. Taxes. Cars. Fleas, possibly. It's an absurd existence.

Each night, I close my eyes and dream. In the morning, I open my eyes again, but the dreaming doesn't stop.

Hug the shore

What an absurd thing it is to pass over all the valuable parts of a man, and fix our attention on his infirmities.

Nothing said in words ever came out quite even. Things in words got twisted and ran together, instead of staying straight and fitting together.

You're only as old as you feel.

(Don Fey had a large rubber stamp that said "bullshit, " which was and is awesome.)

Think as little as possible about yourself and as much as possible about other people.

Barbara said she knew it was in as soon as she shot it. She's told me a lot of lies over the last four years, but that was the biggest one I've ever heard.

One thing for sure - a sheep is not a creature of the air.

If nature does not ratify law, then all the virtues may lose their sway.