How many of those dead animals you see on the highway are suicides?

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse.

We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

Maybe democrats will eventually turn on Obamacare when they realize you might need a photo I.D. to participate in the program.

Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble.

There is a chalk outline slowly being drawn around common sense and most people can't identify the victim.

It's foolish to be prejudiced. There are so many reasons to hate people on an individual basis.

We've gotten so far away from our food source. It's been hijacked from us. But if you get soil, plant something in it and water it, you can feed yourself. It's that simple.

To be of the eternal, you must be of the earth.

I have high aspirations. I want to be an architect.

I think that having a public career is a bargain with the devil.

I'm not suspicious, I'm just careful.

It is a common trait of primates to become submissive and even worshipful toward one who has the power to kill them.

One central need in life is to fulfill its own potential.

You can know what's in your life when you know what's in your heart.

Big budgets don't necessarily give you big films.

When you allow me to live with you, every glance at the world around you will be a sort of salvation.