Homosexuals are entering the mainstream, because they're becoming as boring and as tedious as any other splinter group.

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse.

We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

Maybe democrats will eventually turn on Obamacare when they realize you might need a photo I.D. to participate in the program.

Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble.

There is a chalk outline slowly being drawn around common sense and most people can't identify the victim.

It's foolish to be prejudiced. There are so many reasons to hate people on an individual basis.

...It is far more sinful to pray irregularly than not to pray at all.

When things are like hunky dory, every enemy comes in the name of friend, but when things are twisted like turmoil, every friendly enemy shows you their colour.

Hespe's mouth went firm. She didn't scowl exactly, but it looked like she was getting all the pieces of a scowl together in one place, just in case she needed them in a hurry.

When I tried to washthe ghosts from my head, what I washed away was my whole life instead.

Do you know what a foreign accent is? It's a sign of bravery.

Existence will not stop until it gets to beauty.

The Japanese are a disease of the skin. The Communists are a disease of the heart.

I think in a weird way that the entertainment industry is strangely more brutally honest than any other.

Your friend is intellectually honourable," Jimmy's mother would say. "He doesn't lie to himself.

I think I'm actually quite a materialistic person, I value what it takes to make a car or build a nice house. Money does change things, but how it changes people depends on how they react to it.