Have you eaten?' I asked Diesel. When?' Recently.' No.

You're a marshmallow. Soft and sweet and when you get heated up you go all gooey and delicious."-

I shot that sucker right in the gumpy." Grandma Mazur

The 'Barnaby' books were always intended to be graphic novels.

I'm done with men. I have a hamster. That's all I need.

When I was six years old I sprinkled sugar on my head, convinced myself it was pixie dust, wished myself invisible, and walked into the boys' bathroom at school.

My Spanish is limited to burrito and taco.

Calories don’t count if they’re connected to a celebration. Everyone knows this.

-You're gloating, Max. It's not flattering. Somebody needs to teach you a little humility.- -A good woman could do that.- -She'd have to be armed and dangerous.-

Its always nice to have a stud muffin at the table.

Only men you can count on these days are Ben and Jerry.

One thing I know is true. Try never to abandon hope for if you do, hope will surely try to abandon you.

I think a biography is only as interesting as the lives and times it illuminates.

The day soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you have stopped leading them.

Today is our most precious possession. It is our only sure possession.

I always write from rhythm first, so if I need a song fast, I have to start there. Then I just threw some electric guitar at it.

He who causes suffering shall suffer. There is no escape.

I am a winner. I just didn't win today.

At first, there was a separation of clubs and sketch comedy. Now there's all kinds of comedy, making us one big happy family.

Never promise more than you can perform.

A Man that wants Money thinks none can be unhappy that has it.