Great Socialist statesmen aren't made, they're still-born.

It's no use growing older if you only learn new ways of misbehaving yourself.

Children with Hyacinth's temperament don't know better as they grow older; they merely know more.

Find yourself a cup; the teapot is behind you. Now tell me about hundreds of things.

He spends his life explaining from his pulpit that the glory of Christianity consists in the fact that though it is not true it has been found necessary to invent it.

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.

Addresses are given to us to conceal our whereabouts.

Women and elephants never forget an injury.

The cat is domestic only as far as suits its own ends.

Poverty keeps together more homes than it breaks up.

You needn't tell me that a man who doesn't love oysters and asparagus and good wines has got a soul, or a stomach either. He's simply got the instinct for being unhappy highly developed.

Perv."He pointed to himself. "Male and eighteen. What's your point?

[A mother] discovers with great delight that one does not love one's children just because they are one's children but because of the friendship formed while raising them.

For sportsmen or women who want to be champions, the mind can be as important, if not more important, than any other part of the body.

I am old, so give me your peace. Wisdom comes with age.

You need not tell all the truth, unless to those who have a right to know it; but let all you tell be truth.

Try not to annoy your relatives unnecessarily.

I made 'Going Greek', which was a very sort of crappy fraternity comedy that I did back in 2000.

I can assure you, as long as I'm here, as long as my colleagues are here, we do know about risks.

Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.

Happiness is having a dream you cannot let go of and a partner who would never ask you to.