Given the facts, our existence seems quite improbable—more miraculous, perhaps, than the seven-day wonder of Genesis.

The brain is a little saline pool that acts as a conductor, and it runs on electricity.

When you walk this earth on borrowed time, each day on the calendar is a beloved friend you know for only a short time.

I loved you unabashedly in the rain, you were real, raw, accustomed to pain. I loved you mostly in the rain, where you exposed your broken soul, unashamed, dancing despite it all.

Why is it I always get my best ideas while shaving?

No man who is not willing to help himself has any right to apply to his friends, or to the gods.

Well, I'll be damned. Oh, this is funny.

We have Democrats saying dumb things every single day, and Republicans as well.

Doing something purely for one's own enjoyment is fine, but, I must admit, finding that others enjoy it as well has a certain power over the corners of my mouth.

Some women take up the law and become lawyers. Other women lay down the law and become wives.

It takes true strength of character to redefine your limits by pushing past them.

Comedy is difficult, especially slapstick. The trick is to have fun while you are performing it.